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Sunday, November 15, 2009
15.11.o9

When I was young I had certain values.

First I thought that I was outgoing, amicable and sociable.
Second I really liked working with people and mixing around.
Third I thought that everyone of my friends will still be my friends.

When I reached secondary school I still had the same values.

I was noisy, loud and loved to have loads of fun.
I didn't mind staying back after school till late hours because school's where all the fun is.
I still didn't mind mixing around with people.

When I reached tertiary education my values changed a little.

I wasn't as noisy but maybe still loud and I still love fun.
But I didn't really like mixing around with people anymore.
And I hated staying back in school because the only reason you'd stay back is due to projects and not fun.

When I started my internship my values flipped a 180 degrees.

I'm not noisy. I'm not loud (Unless with the right group of people)
I really dislike mixing around and I prefer to be independent.
The moment it hits 6pm I press the SHUT DOWN button on the computer and rush home.
I'm too tired to hang out after work and the fun moments that I used to have, has dwindled drastically.

Is this how working life is going to be?
Full of lethargy with only weekends to look forward to?
And when it's finally weekends I just feel so tired that I want to stone the whole day at home.
I slept 18hours today period. 4am - 1pm & 4pm - 2am
Awake for only 3hours god.
And no, there wasn't any camping trip involved. Just work alone.
I really admire my parents for pulling it through. I think I'd better stick to studying with flexi-hours and holiday breaks.

And through my life I thought my friends will always be my friends.
But now I've separated them into categories of:

- BFF's (Meeting up often and sharing our lives together)
- Good friends for life (Won't meet up so often)
- Hi Bye Friends (Friends for only that period of time)


So I've just started thinking.
I've changed so much in my mindset of thinking.
Is that good or bad?

The fact that I'm tired of being sociable is bad?
Or the fact that I've learnt to be more independent is good?

Because at this stage of life, I feel that friends that you make will not be friends for life.
Or I'd rather say. Acquaintances.

I need someone to change my mindset to when I was young and naive and thought everyone I knew will be my friend for life.
When I still loved mixing around.

And I hate working with people now.
It's a tight pain in the ass.
I'd rather work all alone by myself because then, whatever I deem fit I just do.
No extra load of shit added to your workpile.

I'm happy that there'll be no more project group work until the graduation.
Because I'm damn tired of working with people.
glanced at the mirror at 9:30 AM